Choosing myself slowly

Hello,

Today was supposed to be a perfect day, until someone from somewhere almost ruined it. Some things are beyond your control, and it’s even more unsettling when they affect you in ways you never imagined. You can do everything right, yet someone else’s negligence can undo what you’re building. You don’t own these moments. You can try to manage them, but most times, they’re out of your hands.

Something like that happened at work today, but I’ve promised myself not to dwell on everything, so I’ll leave it there.

Sometimes, you just have to be the “bad” person. Let people think what they want and do what’s best for you. Damn the consequences and move on. People will talk regardless. You can’t please everyone — you really can’t.

I met someone recently who asked for my help, and I gave it freely (that’s just who I am). I didn’t realise she was taking advantage of it. That disappointment stung more than I expected. I’ve been warned to stop trying to be good all the time, but it goes against my nature.

Today, I said no. Even when she tried to guilt-trip me, I stood my ground. I saw the disappointment in her eyes and I’m pretty sure I made an enemy. But honestly, why are people like that? The win here is that I’m learning to say no — something I’ve always struggled with. I need to choose myself more often.

Some days teach you lessons you didn’t ask for but probably needed.

These are just some of the things I’ll be working on in the year ahead. There’s a lot lined up, and I’m glad I’ve already started.

Now I need to either sleep or watch an episode of Squid Game. I’m knackered. I wrote this sitting on my doorstep, by the way — just to show how much I love you. *RollsEyes

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