My Nysc Shege

December 05, 2022

Welcome to my December blog

Day 4,

In today's episode, I’m sharing one of my favorite memories during my service year; Nysc.

The National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) is a program set up by the Nigerian government during the military regime to involve Nigerian graduates in nation-building and the country's development.

It was early Monday morning, at about 7:00 AM, when I heard a knock on my door. It was the CDS President. We exchanged greetings, and he told me the L. I (The local inspector) need your attention. Prior, a colleague had informed me they might need my attention, but I wasn’t sure what it would be.

I told him I needed a few minutes to freshen up. I’ll join you in his office.

Getting to the entrance of his office — I saw a crowd. I wasn’t sure what was happening, but I had to be saying excuse me, excuse me till I found my way into the L.I office.

That’s how L.I asked: Are you, Kenny? I said yes. How did I not know you? Where’s your PPA? He asked again.

Ffs, why am I here? *muffled. I told him my PPA and asked him what I should do, sir.

He pointed at his laptop screen, and he explained he was having problems verifying people for the ongoing N-power Physical Verification (also, it’s about to close.)

He said a corp member recommended me, so I should please help him out. I said no problem, Kenko dey for you. Omo Ologo 4G. I looked at the laptop screen, and I was like ok, ok, let me see.

I thought it was going to be an easy one, but I didn’t know someone just recommended me for a shege pro-max.

I got on the laptop, logged in, and asked the first person to come so I could verify her thumbprint. I logged in with her information, but I could not confirm her thumbprint. It was displaying an error bla bla bla. That's how L. I stood up and started shouting, hissing, and moving up and down. The crowd outside started raising their voice, too. I asked another person to come in. It was the same thing. At this moment, I knew it would be a long day.

The crowd outside was shouting; other local governments had almost finished their verification, only this local government was having issues, uno how Nigerians are unsettled when it comes to free ***, rather than the L.I to appeal to them or try to calm their nerves, and he was just shouting back at them.

Sitting in the middle of shege, I’m like, my village people have followed me to NYSC.

I tried all I could, but it was futile. So I suggest we call the admins from Abuja to explain what we are currently facing. While the Abuja admin explained the possible solutions to the problem, the crowd was already in the hundreds.

Come and see the way they’re already abusing us from the outside. I ignored their rants and followed the instructions from the Admin we were on call with. I kid you not; this was around 3:00 pm. I have not eaten or had anything but trust me; food is the least of my problems. My focus was finding a solution to the issue, but the atmosphere was not helping. I uninstalled the software, re-installed it, used google, and tried everything I could, but nothing worked. Even the admin from Abuja got fed up and ended the call.

That’s how someone from outside just yelled: you went and brought a quack and called him a computer guy: nice one, brother, nice one. 🥹 I told the L.I to, please let him come in so he can fix it if he can. He declined. Another person from the crowd suggested they take me to the other local government so I could see how it’s done. Maybe we can have a breakthrough, L. I said No again.

I asked L.I to allow me, he said Kenny NO. If we can’t solve it here, he’s not letting me go anywhere.

It’s about 6:00 pm, and all efforts seem futile — just shege here and there.

What am I going to do?

How did I get here?

How do I leave this place?

How can I perform opapa-parada and disappear?